Highlights of The Open- On & Off the Course

This past weekend June 16-20th was the British Open, or as Britain likes to call it, The Open. This tournament is golf’s oldest tournament, being around for over 150 years. The Open was founded by pioneering golfers who had one guiding principle – to crown the Champion Golfer of the Year.

Photo: Zach Johnson Twitter

BLAH, BLAH, YADA YADA- Let’s get to the good stuff!

This year, the winner was Zach Johnson (from the United States, whoop whoop ‘MERICUH!).

No, not the Johnson dating ultra babe Paulina Gretzky, but still an American no doubt! God bless America.

It was an unfortunate loss for Jordon Spieth who has already won four times this year, including a pair of playoffs.

 

And if you saw that bomb of a putt Spieth made on sixteen…

Like, damn. Heartbreaker.

Moving on…

There is absolutely no way to talk about The Open without at least touching on defending champion Bubba Watson’s watch game this past weekend.

Photo: USA Today

I am literally talking about the watch you wear on your wrist game.

The 2012 Masters champion has a casual half-million sitting on his wrist, thanks to a pretty sweet deal with Swiss luxury watchmaker, Richard Mille. This watch is the same type of $525,000 watch he wore en route to the green jacket last April.

Sorry but for a half mil, weren’t you expecting it to look way more blingy or something? Maybe that’s just me…

Speaking of some serious cash, there were a lot of bets placed this past weekend. The most outrageous bet made was three million.

THREE. MILLION. DOLLARS.

At the end of the day, to me, golf is just golf.

I love a good athlete, I do. And I’d love to learn how to play golf, but the likelihood of that happening is little to none (it’s an attention span thing… Is it football season yet?).

Thus, I’ll stick to drinking in the club house while my man kicks ass on the course.

 

Cheers to that!

– Alexa

 

Anyone Down for SEXploration? Because Pornhub is Going to Space

PornHub is (wait for it) going to SPACE. Like, as in spaceships and NASA and all that sh*t.

I have no words. Literally. No. Words.

Read that again: PornHub is- Going. To. Space. 

Yep, you read that right. Someone over at the PornHub headquarters had the brilliant (or not so brilliant) idea to take their videos to space. The film will star adult entertainers Eva Lovia and Johnny Sins.

Hmm… I have SO many questions that I don’t even know where to start.

First, let’s talk about how unoriginal this is (sorry, PornHub). PornHub isn’t the first company to have this idea. In 2006, Laura Woodmansee wrote a book called Sex in Space, which detailed the plans to make a porno on the Mir space station (which is no longer around).

Second, logistics. How the f*ck is this supposed to work?!

 

Sex in space cannot be easy. I mean, I’ve never been to space, let alone in a spaceship, so I don’t exactly know what the setting would look like or how things would work out, but I cannot imagine things would be simple. I mean, physics… Then again, I’m not even sure I passed that class.

Regardless! I can image those who are into the whole bondage thing would really dig this…

Lastly, everyone’s least favorite subtopic of sex: the repercussions. Typical trips to space last anywhere from 10 to 440 days, which can be a wide range of time. However, what happens in space won’t always stay in space, this isn’t Vegas after all.

Babies (and STD’s) are no joke, so wrap it up people.

Safe sex is great sex, after all.

So this is weird, right? It’s not just me?

Whatever.

If this is something you think you would be into, feel free to donate here, to make your dreams a reality. The fact that they have already collected almost $235,000 from just 1,333 people in only 29 days is SHOCKING, to say the least.

 

So enjoy you little porn gurus, you.

 

May the force be with you… Or not with you if there’s no gravity, I guess?

– Alexa