How to Make Unforgettable Bloody Mary’s

What’s a brunch without a Bloody Mary? Sadness. Pure sadness.

For those of you that are mimosa drinkers, I apologize as I rain on your parade. Mimosa’s just don’t do it for me. But Bloodys? Bloody Mary’s are my kinda style. 🍹

Now, not every Bloody Mary is up to par. To be honest, you kind of got to scope the scene that you’re at, see who’s ordered them and see what they look like.

Yeah, call me picky.

I am just a girl that knows what she wants and I ain’t going to settle for anything less. Yes, I am still talking about Bloody Mary’s.

Let me clarify as to what the perfect Bloody should consist of and look like…

– Start by dipping the rim of your cup in Montreal Steak Seasoning… Trust me on this one.
– Vodka… DUH.
– Zing Zang Bloody Mary Mix… This is crucial. Other Bloody Mary mix’s just can’t even.
– A couple splashes of Worchester Sauce… Self explanatory.
– A couple splashes of Cholula Hot Sauce… Because I said so!
– 1/4 teaspoon of Horseradish… Boom, boom, pow!
– 1 piece of Celery… Because what is a Bloody Mary without celery?
– A couple Olives & Jalapeños on a toothpick… Great appetizing accessory. Hell, even add some green beans and pickles!
– Last but certainly not least, bacon… Because everyone loves bacon.

These are the bare necessities. The minimum per say.

If you’re at a super festive place, there may be a small meal included within your Bloody Mary.

Sounds crazy good, I know.

Yes, that’s another extra Bloody Mary on top for kicks.

These small meals can range from:  – A piece of pizza 🍕
– A Burger 🍔
– Tater Tots
– Crab Legs
– Shrimp 🍤
– Chicken 🍗
– Ribs 🍖
– A Sandwich
– Onion Rings
– French Fries 🍟

When it’s made by yours truly, it will blow your mind, as will I. 💁🏼

Enjoy my friends!

– Hailey

T-Rexs, Donuts & Pretzels, OH MY! Float On This Summer

 

Ladies & gentleman, summer is upon us! It’s almost July if you guys haven’t already noticed. The sun is coming out, and clothes are starting to come off. Just how we like it.

Hopefully you have already started on your summer bod so you can jump in on the fun too. But, if you don’t want to dive in and get wet and would rather lounge out like a kardashian with a drink in hand, I’ve got some fun for you too.

Honestly, I’d say that it’s trendier to be on top of the water rather than in the water this summer.

As a matter of fact, I’d say that Summer 2015 is about being on top of the water, rather than in it. And if you’re having a pool party, an empty pool without floaties is like brunch without alcohol- SAD.

If you don’t believe me, just keep reading for a bit. You may find yourself hoppin’ on the bandwagon, or should I say float.

Let’s just say kids don’t understand the struggle we went through of only foam noodles and rubber tubes. Nowadays, you want it, you name it and there’s probably a floaty of it.

So first we got Funboy floaties. Funboy just launched their line of luxury inflatable pool floats last month. We’re talking black swans, pegasus’, white swans and flamingos. Yes please!

How about some more creatures from fairytales, or even from the latest blockbuster. Jurassic World or How to train your Dragon 2 anyone?! We’re talking T-Rexs & Dragons people! And they’re favorite snacks- Pigs & Cows.

Now, since we cant indulge on all our sweets and fatty foods this summer (because we need to maintain our summer physique -DUH), why not lay on them? You’re not cheating, I promise. Go on and indulge my friend, INDULGE. You want pizza? Done. Pretzel? Done. Tootsie Roll? Seriously?! YES. Just DONUT get carried away. 😉

Or, Slimline has made some for those wanting to stay healthy…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wait, there’s more. YES, MORE. If I had my way, I would own them all. Overboard? Nah, I’ll stay a-float and keep DUCKing around.

And for those of you who want to pretend your floating in the ocean with some crazy cool creatures like you’re the little mermaid or something, we got more floats for you too. And you can even find these fab floaties at your local grocery store! I found some of mine at Albertsons! And AMAZON.

 

 

 

 

And for all you emoji lovers…

So you know what to do now…

GET IN THE WATER!

I’m all for this trend because I’m sick and tired of all the thoughts I have while jumping in and out of the water: Do i look like a wet dog? Should I flip my hair to be an instant Victoria’s Secret model? Or will I lose an extension? Did i just get a wedgie? Did I just flash a tit? Do I have cellulite shaking/showing? Am I blinding people with my whiteness? No more. Low and behold, your problem SOLVED. You’re welcome.

Just try and stay on top of it… The water that is.

Float on betches.

– Hailey

The “Dad Bod”

It’s the latest trend to sweep the U.S.

 

And to the much misfortune of us ladies, guys are under the impression that we love it?

The “Dad Bod.”

Reality Check, WE DON’T. The dad bod is a balance between working out and rocking the beer belly. According to TheOdyssey.com, the dad bod states “I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink occasionally on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time.” In other words, these guys want to show us how committed they are to looking good, but also show us their commitment to drinking beer.

The dad bod is obviously popular amongst the older crowd hence it’s name, but it seems to be being taken over by retired frat boys who still think they can party like they are in college, but skip the gym. Maybe girls are loving it, because it takes away the need for us to workout and we don’t feel fat or intimidated?

LEFT>RIGHT ALL FREAKIN DAY BABY.

No. I’m still not loving it.

But really, why should we workout and look hot if they are going to slack off? What if we decided to start a new trend called the “Mom Bod”? Oh, they would hate it.

At least with the dad bod he isn’t going to be opposed to watching you eat or drink just about everything because if he does, HELLO MOM BOD!

Sorry boys, but this is one trend we’re not catching on to. We’ll stick to Zac Efron thanks! (But we still love you Seth Rogan!)

– Taylor